Originally published on Modest Truth Magazine’s website on May 25, 2017.
Feeling anxious? Overwhelmed? Stressed out? You’re not alone. Anxiety is the most common mental illness in the United States. In this day and age, 40 million Americans deal with some form of anxiety, with almost 7 million suffering from the more debilitating Generalized Anxiety Disorder. According to therapists, one of the most effective ways to reduce anxiety and depression is mindfulness. Mindfulness involves focusing on immediate surroundings and body cues to calm strong emotions. But mindfulness takes practice, and time, which is something few people have in our busy world. But there is a solution! A coping skills toolbox.
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This post has been a long time coming. But first, let me apologize for the serious lack of updates. Life has been...happening. Things have been flying by and some times I just feel like I'm barely holding on while everything zooms around me.
The second year of my contract was rough, to say the least. As my husband and I sat on the other side of the planet, the lives of those close to us just kept going. Babies were born. Loved ones passed away. Hospital visits came and went. I wasn't there for a lot of major events, and after a while, it wears on you. You see people doing things, and you feel so distant. Like you're...well, like you're on the other side of the world. Time moves on, no matter where on this big marble you are, and never have I felt it more acutely than while we were in Korea. So after lots of discussion and debate, we decided to end our time in Korea after two years. The money was great. The country was (mostly) great. The folks I worked with were wonderful. But it's so hard having to time when to call my parents because of time zones. It's hard watching my niece tell me she loves me through a phone screen. It's hard being so very far away from those you want to hold closest. But on top of all of that, was my depression. I don't talk about it often, but I suffer from pretty bad depression and anxiety disorder. I can still function, but some days it's harder than others. And to be honest, Korea has no concept of that. There is no idea of mental health, and there's no HIPAA. There's no insurance for seeing a therapist, and they frown upon the use of medicine to fix chemical imbalances. Over time, my mental health was deteriorating. And I knew that being in Korea was part of what was causing it. Some of what I talked about above, and also a little of something that expats understand on a deep level: the sense of being other. When you live somewhere as a minority, as an expat, you will never fit in. You can speak the language, eat the food, and acclimate to the culture, but in the end, you are other. You're foreign. Strange. Different. An anomaly. After two years of dealing with the stares and the comments that they thought I couldn't understand, I'd had enough. It was grating to have to wake up every morning in a place where, according to those around me, I didn't belong. It's something all expats deal with at some point or another. And for some, it's just another thing that fades into the background of a life lived abroad. But for me, it wasn't. It was something that pulled my mood further down. It dragged me to some dark spots and some days I felt like I barely made it out the other side in one piece. So, in the end, I left. I packed up my little bit of stuff, my cats, and my husband. I booked a flight, took a whirlwind tour of Taiwan and Japan, and now I'm back. Back in the land of big trucks and big people. For better or worse, this is where I am now. I learned a lot in Korea. I think I found something I'm truly passionate about (spoiler alert: it's not teaching). I'm going to keep on moving, battling my demons by keeping busy. I'm going to keep traveling, because the huge thing Korea gave me was an urge to see more of the world than this small corner. I want to crisscross this globe while I'm here. In Korea, I learned how to see things from the other side of the fence. I learned to take things with a grain of salt (or five). I learned to stand up for myself and what I believe in. And while I'm still young and have a lot to learn, I don't plan on standing still for long. So what does this mean for the blog? Well, it's not going anywhere. It is going to transition, though. I've been working with my photography lately and I'm going to take advantage of my location. I'm going to explore my neck of the woods now. Take pictures, talk to people, find places. Let the travel bug that bit me in Korea lead me around this country for a bit. So this isn't goodbye. But, for now, it's time for a revamp. See you soon! Ever since I can remember, I've had terrible vision. Astigmatism that I eventually grew out of, horrible distance vision, strangely shaped contacts. I've been wearing some form of corrective eye wear since I was 8. For those keeping track at home, that's 18 years of living with glasses and contacts.
I knew when I came to Korea that I would be faced with the best opportunity to get laser correction for my eyes. I knew it would be cheap, efficient, and easy. So I started my research after a year of living here, looking for the best options that also spoke English. After a couple months of looking around online, reading reviews, and looking at picture after picture after picture, I decided on Dream Eye Center in Gangnam. And let me tell you, I'm so glad I did. What follows is a review of the first part of my LASEK surgery: the consultation. As part of their fall/winter lineup, Innisfree announced a ginger-oil-centric series of serums, creams, and essences that promise to make skin more hydrated, firmer, and healthier. It claims to contain tons of natural Jeju ginger to promote vitality and to keep your skin healthy during the (notoriously dry) winters.
I was pretty curious, and even though I love my Banila Co. Miss Flower and Mr. Honey Essence Oil, I wanted to give this a shot. After all, I'm a huge fan of ginger, and this smelled absolutely amazing in the store. When I was originally searching for a face oil, I was a little hesitant. Moist oils are...well...oily. But after a few recommendations for Banila Co's Miss Flower and Mr. Honey Essence Oil, I decided to take the plunge. And although the price is a little steep, I'm really glad I did.
What follows is a review of my (current) holy grail level face oil. When you're an expat in another country, there are moments when you realize that you are, truly, an outsider. No matter how long you've been living there, no matter how much you love the country, no matter how well you speak the language....you'll always be an outsider.
Beauty blogging is something I have been doing for several years. When I first moved to Korea, I put it to the side to focus on work and settling in. Now that I feel more comfortable in the ROK, I'm going to pick back up my beauty and skincare blogging.
For my first post in quite a while, I would like to focus on a product that has absolutely reversed the dry spots on my face. It's a product with an interesting ingredients list that has moisturized my thirsty skin like nothing else. Without further ado, click below to read more on Moksha Bidan Cream. If you're at all up on the news right now, you've probably heard about the MERS (Middle East Respiratory Syndrome) epidemic currently hitting South Korea.
Speaking from a foreigner's perspective, there are a few things that I have to say on the matter. Let me just start by saying, however, that I am not an expert. I'm an English teacher. I don't pretend to know how viruses work. I'm just commenting so that those close to me can kind of start to understand the situation (or lack thereof) here in the ROK. It's been quite a while since my last post, but I haven't forgotten about this blog. It's just been a crazy whirlwind of too many classes, too much food, and too many nights out drinking with friends.
I've finally started to settle into a routine, though. I'm getting down to my teaching core and figuring out what works for me. It's been a hard road, but then I remember that I'm a quarter done with my contract and I just stop. And realize that I've been in this country for three months. I think the hardest part to comprehend is that it feels like home. As much a home as anywhere in Georgia. I feel like I've acclimated surprisingly well. There are dips, as with any move. There are days when I just want to pack it all in and run to my mom and dad to crash on their couch and eat their food. And then I step outside, and realize that despite everything, I'm finally doing what I've wanted to do for five years. That even when I'm downtrodden or worn out by my children. Or when my boss is picking on me for something small and insignificant just to have a power trip. No matter what, I'm living in Korea. Working in Korea. And making so many new memories and friends. It's like I have these miniature epiphanies--moments of light. It's then that I realize I'm living in a foreign country. Outside of those moments, it feels like home. In other news, I'm taking Korean lessons. Mostly to make my life easier, but also because I feel like a horrible person when I can't communicate in the native language of the country in which I live. I feel this deep, disappointing pang when the person I'm talking to works so hard to speak English just so we can communicate. I feel lazy and entitled and it's utterly unpleasant. So I'm fixing it. We're working with a private tutor to improve our language skills one day at a time. Work is a grind, but in the end I have to remind myself that it's just a means to an end, not an end in itself. My job is not my life, it is what enables me to live my life. And now, I'm living. I'm really, truly living my life. And man, it feels so fantastic. I have to say, it's been a whirlwind. Lots of new faces, new responsibilities, new illnesses, and a whole new culture. Sometimes it's really hard to keep focused and see all of the light around me. Sometimes, my kids are a delight, everyone is nice, and the food keeps me happier than ever. But before I dive into how the last three weeks have gone, let me just say that so far, everything has been overwhelmingly positive. Now on to the details! First off, sorry for the last post. It's been absolutely insane getting settled, and there is so much to explore that my blog has been left by the wayside. But no longer! Soon, we will have internet in our apartment, we have our Alien Registration Cards, and soon we will have phone numbers! WHOO!
The positives so far:
The negatives (so far):
Like I said, overall, it's been positive. I'm still looking at staying here quite a while, although maybe not at this school. I was talking with some other folks at a bar and we were discussing getting university positions here. We're hooking up in a couple weeks to talk about it more over dinner/coffee. In the meantime, I'm going to start the paperwork for my Masters and look at private elementariness. Apparently there are a couple that are known around here for being sweet setups. For now, I'll curl up with my cats (still traumatized from their prison experience, I think), drink my citron tea to combat my sore throat, and fold about two dozen more origami butterflies to decorate my classroom. |
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